About a month ago, a gentleman on Jdate sent me an e-mail. We exchanged emails a few times and then he sent me his number, telling me to text him when I get the chance. That same night I go ahead and send him a friendly text, something referring to the conversation we had online. We text back and forth a few days and he asks to call me, I tell him when is a good, and... he doesn't call.

The next morning I see I have a missed call and text message from him that came in at 1am.

I call him back the next evening and he begins to interrogate me. No joke. He seriously interrogates me for an hour.

The conversation goes something like this:

Not my idea of romance.

"So what do you do for a living? What do you do for fun? What is your favorite movie, What are the top 5 songs in your disc changer right now? What do you watch on TV? What do you read? Where do you live? Where do your parents live? Where have you been? What do you do when you go out?"
And on. And on. And on. This was by no means a natural conversation. After nearly an hour of me being interrogated, he finally stops his line of questioning, takes a breath and asks, "So, do you have any questions for me?"

My head was still spinning from all the questions, but I managed to repeat some of his line of questioning back to him.

When I get to the part where I ask him what he does for a living, he replies, "I have money."

Charming, right?

"That must be nice." I tell him.

"Well I'm just a guy trying to get by in life." He responds modestly.

He tells me he's "in insurance," and he loves to travel. He then provides me with a list of all the places he's been. After that, for no reason in particular, he gives me a geographical breakdown of the state of California, and makes sure to tell me which areas are nice and which are "ghetto" and "should be destroyed." Luckily, he tells me that my area 'sounds great and must be a nice area!' (Thanks, I think?)

He is really talkative and because of that, I am a little quieter than usual, and he has to keep stopping himself to allow room for me to talk. When I do speak, as soon as I finish he picks right back up again!

He asks me what me what my plans are... for the entire week.

A bit startled, I tell him that my friend is visiting from Israel and I'll probably be hanging out with her the whole weekend. He says he also has a friend visiting him from Florida and that we should double date!

Really? I think to myself, a double date? I tell him I'm not sure my friend would be interested in anything like that and that there will be a big group of us going out anyway, to which he invites himself along, so he can meet my friends, all of them... on our first date.

"I'm sorry. You want to meet all my friends on our first date?" I ask, just to make sure.

What's my grade sir?

"Sure, why not. We might as well get it over with." He replies.

Uhhh.

 I tell him we'll play it by ear and let's not rush anything. I also tell him if we can't meet up this weekend, then definitely next weekend.

We finish our conversation, and he says he'll call me back the next night. And he actually does!

As soon as I pick up the phone it's more or less an immediate continuation of the prior night's conversation. He tells me about the movies he likes and doesn't like, he talks extensively of his love for the movie Tron and how excited he is to see it and then...  (moving right along) he asks me how religious I am.

I proceed to tell him, and ask how religious he is.

"Oh not very. I just keep kosher and I have a kosher kitchen. I go to shul on Shabbat and I light the Chanukah candles."

He acts like it's nothing, but I inform him it most definitely is something. Most guys I meet don't know what shul is, let alone keep kosher...

He doesn't take this well. First he insists that he's not religious at all, and then he launches into a rant about how he hates to hear people say they're observant when they're not, and that keeping kosher and doing the things he does does not qualify him for "religious status." I start to tell him that in my experience, it's been almost impossible to find someone religious... anywhere, but ironically enough, especially Jdate.

He storms past my statement, and goes right back into a barrage of questions, spewing them out like bullets, exactly the same way he did the night before.

Take II

I'm really getting to the end of my rope when he stops cold with: "So, what are you looking for in a guy?"

Oh no. That question is always a hard one for me to answer, and I'm not sure why exactly. When I say that I'm not certain about what I'm looking for, he bursts out with: "Well that's not an answer!!!!!"

Silence.

"Well, are you looking for someone who is successful? Funny? Smart?" He asks me.

I roll my eyes and think to myself actually no, I don't find any of those things attractive in a mate at all!

I reply: "Well obviously yes, I want someone successful and smart, nice and funny-"

"Define success." He cuts me off.

This guy is turning out to be really intense.

"Well someone who has a good job."

"Oh. So, someone who makes a lot of money?"

What is it with this guy and money?

"Not necessarily." I tell him "Someone who can support themselves financially, have their own car, and maybe live on their own. Something along those lines. And yes he has to be funny, and charming," I begin to get carried away, "and it has to be someone who is not clingy and pushy. Someone who doesn't need me to around 24/7. I have my own life and a job, I have friends and family, I'm not just going to put my life on hold for a person because they're too needy."

"Natalie, when I hear you don't want someone who is clingy, I hear you don't want someone who is emotionally available." He responds calmly.

WHAAAAT?

"I need someone who is emotionally available, Natalie." He finishes.

What does that even mean? I ask myself as I stare at my phone wondering how I found this guy.

"I'm sorry. What exactly do you mean by 'emotionally available?'" I ask.

"Someone who is open to the possibility of being hurt by someone else." He tells me.

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?

Who wants this? I think to myself. I mean honestly, who goes into a relationship with someone hoping to be hurt by them? I mean, unless you're into S&M.... No one normal, that's for sure.

Before I even respond with any of the number of thoughts flying through my head, he jumps back on his train and starts rambling on about how Jdate is a horrible place to look for people. He tells me he was just about to take his profile down, when he saw me. And I looked different and I sounded different and... so many times he will be with a girl for days and weeks at a time, unsure of where things are going and what is happening.

"...I just tell girls to cut me loose and let me go if you don't want to be with me! Girls who do that are awful! Just stop playing games and tell me what you are thinking!!!" He shouts in a frustrated voice.

Wow this guy is really intense.   

He says that Jdate is a sick and twisted demented mental game designed to frustrate people.

Research?

Hmm, you think he's been hurt in the past? Gee...

It takes him a few minutes to finish his tirade against women and Jdate. He then stops short and says: "You know, you're really pretty. And you're really cool to talk to." 

"Thank you?" I say, very confused on what the proper reaction to any of this would be.

At this point, I am beyond confused. I mean this is only our second conversation and he is putting everything, everything! out there just like that. I'm not sure I'm ready for anything or anyone who is this intense.

Being a girl, I turn to my friends. I talk the whole thing over with Natasha and Sharon to get their opinions. I decide to just play things slow and cool. I also decide to give him one more conversation and maybe, possibly, a first date, and then I'll see how I feel about him.

Then the game began again. I called. I left a message. I didn't hear back all weekend and then Monday he called me and asked me out for Saturday. (I know it's Christmas, but we're Jews!)
I agreed. And now, even though he said he'd set it all up and let me know the details, I have yet to hear from him yet and our date is fast approaching...So that's where it stands now. I'll let you guys know what happens next week and if the date is anything like the phone calls, I'm sure I'll have a lot to say. Stay tuned...