I am Ginnifer Goodwin.

Or at least her character Gigi Philips, you know from that often quoted book/movie 'He's Just Not That Into You'. She was the totally deluded, and helplessly pathetic lead in the movie who does the craziest things to all the guys she encounters, including going after guys that are very clearly not into her.

The things she does in the movie are so infuriating and irritating AND I AM HER. If you have read the book, (like I have) then you know it offers some good if not painful truth about men, and how they approach women. In the movie, the characters play out this sort of fantasy that the book tries to show you.

In one instance if you have been with a man for a really long time and he has not yet proposed... he is just not into you. If you meet a guy at a bar and you give him your number and doesn't call... he is not into you... If you hopelessly throw yourself at a man for months at a time without even a tug on the line on his part, then he's just not into you... you get the idea?!

Biographical

Well in the movie, Gigi is the one who is constantly reprimanded by her guy friend (who acts as the book's narrator.) He is always going on about guys: how they are, and why they are, and why the men she dates keep vanishing. Poor thing just can't seem to find a guy interested in her.

I know how that is.

 And she keeps trying to figure out, sometimes awkwardly and annoyingly, why these men don't want to be with her and she almost has herself convinced that she is the exception to the rule, instead of the rule itself.

Of course she has a happy ending and ends up with her friend who has been in love with her the whole time, even when he has his tongue down another girl's throat.

This week I re-watched the movie, and unwillingly I came to the stark revelation that the reason I disliked this character so much was because in all honesty, she was the one I related to most.

She goes jumping from one guy to another, just trying to find someone to be with. Trying to figure out how a man's mind works and why they play crazy head games, (yeah. we're crazy too) and being hopelessly in love with someone who will never return those affections... yeah, that's me.

Not an ideal scenario.

So that in all leads me to this week's story, I have been crushing madly over this guy (no names this time) for almost a year now, and I have only just come to the realization that he is just not that into me. Of course this isn't the first time its happened, as you may remember in a previous story, I was ridiculously obsessed with a guy who clearly was not into me no matter how hard I told myself he was.

You would think I would have learned my lesson by know. But I have not.

No. I am now obsessed with a perfectly nice sweet guy, who (I think) would go so well with me.

We met last year just around this time at a mutual friend's party. She had invited the two of us hoping we would get a chance to meet and get better acquainted with each other. And well I thought it went marvelously, I mean I really liked the guy. Not right away, but over the course of the evening I really found myself attracted to him. He was funny and nice, has a great job, and just about fulfilled all the qualities I find attractive in a guy. So I of course put myself out there, so he would notice me. We talked all night and shared bad dating stories and everything seemed to be going so well...

The next day, it was all I could do to stop thinking about him. I had a smile on my face the whole day. Then of course I started analyzing everything about the night before. The way he talked to me, the way I laughed at his jokes, how he walked me to my car and said goodnight, and that I told him we should hang out sometime.

Was I reading too much into it? I must be, I always do. For some reason I always feel such strong connections to guys and it turns out to be sadly one sided.

So I decided to do what any normal girl would do. I called my friend, the one whose idea it was to set us up to begin with.

I ask her opinion and she immediately points out the chemistry we had with each other.

"It was palpable" she tells me, "everyone could see it!"

It's what we do...

"So I'm not crazy? There was something there, right?" I anxiously ask.

"Oh, definitely." She assures me.

I ask for some advice on what to do now, and how to make my next move, and she tells me to play it cool and slow, he hasn't had a relationship for a while and it might take time for him to adjust. But I am just happy to hear that I am not making this up myself! Others see it too. A guy I really like, one I could really see myself with, and he feels the same!!!

Like I said this has been going on a year now. A year of parties, game nights and movie nights, but still nothing, a year I have been throwing myself at him, modestly of course, with him not making a move even once. A year I have played it "slow" and "cool." And despite the looks he gives me and the chemistry we have together... still nothing. And all that has been going through my head is, I don't understand what I'm doing wrong! He must like me, but I can't keep doing this forever.

So I decided to give it one more shot. Natasha knows all about this guy and my feelings for him, and has been counseling me the entire time on what to do with this one. We were invited to a party and I knew he would be there. I decide that this is it. I will go and be open and accepting to possibilities.

The whole night I sit by him, I talk to him. I keep catching him looking at me from the corner of my eye and when I meet his gaze, he smiles.

Why won't he ask me out?! I just don't get it.  I want to scream at the top of my lungs, MAKE A MOVE ALREADY!

The night eventually leads to what I had hoped it would have; a deep one-on-one conversation, only it was not with him, but with a friend of mine, and he off in a corner with two other girls.

Definitely not what I had wanted.

He gets ready to leave and I say goodnight, he hugs me and gives me a kiss on the cheek, which is the final nail in my coffin. The kiss of death. I mean no one kisses someone they are interested in on the cheek.

Absolutely NOT the goal!!!

I stay behind and sit and contemplate.

The next day I finally talk to Natasha. I tell her how when I got there I waited to see where he was sitting, and sat by him, then I tell her how I started the conversations we had all evening. I even suggest to her that I should make the first move and ask him out. At which point she tells me, "No. You can't be the one waiting to see where he will sit and you can't be the one constantly starting conversations, he should be doing those things for you!"

Then it occurs to me, I am acting just like the chick in that movie, I keep thinking I am the exception to the rule with him, and one day he will realize how amazing I am and ask me out. But I am not the exception, had he been "into" me, he would have made a move long ago. He has had every opportunity in the world to ask me out. The time has passed, I realize that now, we're friends and that is all we will ever be. I don't want to be the exception to the rule, but instead the rule itself.

Of course I'm disappointed, but I do feel better finally realizing my full awesome potential.

I am no exception, I am the rule.

<--- Dear World: Yes, I'm Jewish! Now STOP Asking!

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