Sigh

Oh good. I'm so excited! Like I said, there was just a good vibe about this guy.

A week goes by and I begin to expect to hear from him. Yet a few more days pass and at that point I'm getting antsy so I ask Natasha what I should do.

Natasha firmly tells me to wait for him to call.

So, naturally I text him.

Hey! How was Brazil?

Great thanks, we should get together. When are you free?

We coordinate our schedules and set a date. A Tuesday night, which also happens to be the day before my birthday, but that was beside the point.

The days leading up to our date, I suppose you could say that I was... excited. Without fully intending to, I find myself telling all my friends and family, and my co-workers... and uh, even the receptionists at my dentist office about my date with the South African Prince Charming! (I really hope I'm not hyping this up.)

Speaking of Dentist offices... It just so happens that I had a scheduled appointment with my dentist the same Tuesday as our date. But seeing as the appointment was several hours before the date, I figured I would be in the clear!

I thought wrong.

First off, I arrive at the dentist almost 20 minutes late which pushes my appointment back. When I'm finally seen they tell me they have to drill a cavity and numb my mouth. But when they start drilling I can feel it!

Little did I know...

I tell them to stop and they have to give me more numbing agent. The long and short of this is - by the time they finish up, I cannot feel my mouth at all. It is completely numb. My dentist tells me it will take "a bit" longer to wear off because they gave me a double dosage.

Fabulous. I can't feel my mouth and I am drooling. This should be interesting.

As I check out I tell all the receptionists at the front desk about my date, and they all frown. Uh oh. One of the girls asks if it's a first date and I tell her it is. They wish me luck and I'm on my way, rushing to get home so I can be ready in time for the evening.

I call Natasha and try to tell her about my condition, but I'm slurring and lisping all my words.

"I just dwove home fwom dah dentisht and I have no contwol ovew my moush!"

She burst out laughing. "Why did you make an appointment the same day as your date?!"

"I widn't dwoo it on puwhpose." I say.

After I hang up with her, I send Eli a text message, asking him for the name of the place he suggested for that night. And then he immediately calls me!

I freak out! I mean, I have to answer because he knows I'm around, I just sent him a bloody message. But I can't answer because I sound like a moron.

I answer the phone and try as hard as I can to sound like I don't have a mouth full of numbing medication...

"Hewow!" I spit out.

"Hey, just thought I'd give you a call before tonight." He says.

"Oh, shank you wery mush." I slobber.

"Is everything ok?", he asks.

Oh no, he's onto me.

"I will be honesht wish you, I jus weft the dentisht and my mouf ish numb."

He laughs it off very sweetly and tells me he understands completely. He then asks if I will be ok tonight, and I assure him I'll be fine.

As the hours pass and I get ready for the evening, the feeling in my mouth slowly comes back and by the time I make my way down to the bar he suggested, my mouth is back to normal! (Thank goodness, I might need it later!)

Driving through the scary side of town, I nearly miss the place because it's such a hole in the wall. I make a u-turn and find a parking spot; I give Eli a call and let him know I'm there. We meet in front of the place, and as he walks up to introduce himself, I am immediately attracted to him. He is tall, good looking and very nice. (He looks just like he described himself on J-date! That's a first!)

"Hi, I'm Eli."

"It's so great to meet you! I'm Natalie."

We walk into the circus tent/Moroccan bazaar looking bar which is very much too cool for me and he picks a table to sit down at and offers to buy me a drink. We pretty much immediately start talking. For two hours straight we talk.

We talk about work, school, traveling, South Africa, politics, Judaism, food. It was one of the best conversation's I have had with a guy! Seriously, for two hours we talked with no awkward pauses or silences interrupting the evening at all. It was great!

I kept looking over the candlelight on our table at him and imagining what our second date will be like. Still unsure of what is going through his mind, I smile as he mentions the bar and asks if I like the area.

"To be honest, I don't think I've ever spent much time in this area." I tell him.

"Really? There is the best gelato stand not too far from here. I wonder if it's still open." He checks his watch, "probably not, but we should check it out next time."

NEXT TIME!!!!

My night.

The only confirmation I needed! He said next time, which means I will have my first, second J-date!!! I was so excited. On top of the world!

We continue talking for a while longer, when I look at my phone and realize how late it is... 11pm, on a weeknight.. (I know I'm such an old lady.) When I tell him the time, he's surprised as well. "Well, we should get going." he suggests.

We make our way out of the bar, flirting back and forth the whole time, I feel like a schoolgirl with a crush! He walks me over to my car, and I hug him.

"Thank you for tonight, I had a great time." I tell him, blushingly.

He doesn't respond.

"Well, I would love to do it again soon." I say.

Still nothing. He is just standing there with his hands in his pockets smiling.

I was feeling so good at that point, I could have run to the moon and back...  but then I started wondering why he wasn't responding to me, at all.

"I'm sorry, I'm really no good at reading guys." I tell him honestly.

"Yeah, I don't think this is going to work."

...

So I have never been punched in the gut, and I'm not sure what it feels like when that happens, but at that moment, I had a pretty good idea of what it must feel like.
I felt like all the breath in my body had been kicked out of my system. I felt like I imagine going into space without a pressurized suit, must feel like.

Basically it really sucked.

I looked him square in the eyes, completely unsure as to what happened or what went wrong, or what I must have said or done that made the evening so terrible for him that he never wanted to see me again. We must not have been on the same date, that's for sure.

His night?

I stand still for a moment, trying to regain some level of togetherness. And when I finally do, I see him still standing there with a stupid smile on his face, with his stupid hands in his stupid pockets, the whole time a voice screaming in my head 'WHY DON'T YOU LIKE ME????????', but my only outward response was to get away.

Without saying a word, I turned around and got into my car, I sat there for only a minute and I could still see him standing there, right outside my car looking at me. So I peeled out of my parking spot and drove away, refusing to give him the satisfaction of leaving first. What can I say, it was the only logical thing that came into my head.

Driving away, I still felt as if all the air had been kicked out of me. And that was the only thing I felt, besides confusion.

I mean I was sad. But I couldn't cry. I was upset, but I couldn't punch anything. I mostly felt deflated, like a balloon. Sure, it looks so pretty and nice at the birthday party, but the next day its saggy and sad lying on the floor. And that's exactly how I felt, like an unloved outdated next day birthday balloon.

I call Natasha and tell her the whole story, still trying to figure out what went wrong, and how two people on the same date could have such different experiences. Mostly I'm upset with myself for getting my hopes up so high before I even met the guy, and then enjoying myself so much and expecting a second date, only to be completely wrong. I hate the feeling of not being able to trust yourself.

Of course while on the phone, the fact that I would be turning another year older in a matter of minutes and realizing I will be alone for yet another birthday, perhaps many more, finally hit me.

Happy birthday to me.

So you could say this year hasn't started on the happiest note for me, and I'm not looking forward too much to a year of more of this, but one thing is for certain, I will probably still have plenty to write about, for a really long time.

 <--- The Exception to the Rule

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