We normally assume that the advanced technologies of the twenty-first century have improved communication between people. E-mail allows us to communicate immediately and inexpensively, and social networks enable us to create virtual communities, developing friendships across land and seas. Now it is so much easier to share information, dreams and feelings with others. The cell phone enables us to stay in constant contact with others, friends and loved ones, anywhere in the world. And the list goes on.
But do advanced technologies really make us better communicators? Some insights I had from a family gathering brought into focus some of the questions that have been bothering me for some time now.
It was a beautiful blooming spring day in the Galilee - one of those days that invite you to step outdoors and breathe the fragrance of the blossoming trees. Nature was still at its finest, even though the shades of yellow were already visible in the landscape.
On that day, I was invited to attend a family gathering, celebrating one of the Israeli holidays. This social event brought together family members who don't regularly assemble in their full configuration, and there were representatives of three generations around the table. Grandparents, uncles and aunts and grandchildren. A family event like this is an opportunity to bring ourselves up to date with what's new in the lives of each and every family member, and even recount some bitter and sweet nostalgia.
Well into the holiday meal, after everyone at the table had satisfied their initial hunger, appetites whetted by the fresh spring Galilee air, they started into their second and third courses. At that point, I started to detect the nega tive effects of technology on our family interactions.
Three of the grandchildren gobbled their food, escaping from the table and into the house to sit in front of a computer screen and watch a cartoon. Another grandchild went off to a quiet corner to play a popular computer game, and with dramatic gestures, tossed virtual fruit across his cell phone screen. At the same time, one of the uncles settled back into his plastic chair, busy with his cell phone, his attention riveted to the little black device, trying to figure out a new bit of software.
When I tried several times, unsuccessfully, to get his attention, my daughter Eden suggested that I call him on the phone... "A very original idea", I answered her with a smile. And so, sitting at a distance of 4 feet from one another, I called his number. Only when he heard my voice through the loudspeaker of his telephone did he sit up in his chair and raise his eyes to look at me with an embarrassed grin.
So does advanced technology actually enable better communication between people? Does the technical ability to speak and see people through electronic devices help us to listen, see and hear each other better? Are 1000 "friends" on Facebook actually friends? I received my briefing on social networks from my kids. And when troubling questions began to arise, I shared them with my kids. "How many of your Facebook friends are truly your friends?" I asked. "And if you sent all your friends on the network a request to contribute 10 shekels to help with a medical problem - G-d forbid - how many of them in your estimation would respond positively and send a donation?"
And further. Who among us hasn't found themselves at the dinner table with their family, after a long day of work/errands/school. Finally the family has all gathered together, after each one had been occupied with their daily concerns. This is the only opportunity in the day to talk, relate experiences, share, and listen. And suddenly someone's cell phone rings, a friend from work who remembered some open issue from the work day. I already answered the phone, and this unwelcome conversation, which could well have been postponed to the next day, takes our attention away from the closest and dearest thing. And while I'm trying to end this unnecessary intrusion, the children have already left the table and gone to their computer/homework/telephone, leaving us alone, with telephone in hand, but no one else around the table.
And perhaps the worst of all (at least for now - surely something worse will come along), are the smart phones. The little beep that announces that an e-mail has arrived. You may be in the middle of a romantic encounter with your wife, or a conversation with your child about what happened in school, or even just reading the evening paper... but your curiosity trumps your common sense and tempts you to peek at the little screen to read the freshly arrived mail, just to see that it is another advertisement for Viagra....
In our modern world, flooded with electronic temptations, Shabbat represents a kind of city of refuge. On observing Shabbat, it is said by our forefathers, that "more than the Jewish people take care of Shabbat, Shabbat takes care of the Jewish people ." We were awarded with twenty-five hours, once a week, during which the action ceases, the television, the computer, the tablet and the telephone are turned off, the I-phone and the BlackBerry, and all the rest of the "communication" devices that control our attention during the week, to make room for communication with one another, and with ourselves. The transition isn't always easy, particularly for those who aren't used to it. On a recent Shabbat, we hosted friends who don't usually keep Shabbat. I asked the youngest child of the family, a cute 8 year-old, how he was experiencing Shabbat in Hoshaya. "Very nice" he said. "But I can't wait until it's over so I can check my messages on Facebook".
So do the communication technologies really improve our communication with our loved ones and ourselves, or just seem to? Perhaps the advanced technologies aren't just friend, but are also foe?
When you examine the amazing leap of communication technologies over the past twenty years, one can only imagine how significant the next technological leap will be in the years to come. Technological developments are driven (mainly) by economic considerations and the expectations of earning profits. No doubt, the human abilities for concentration are not developing at the same pace. This may seem, perhaps, to be a radical comparison, but in fact, gunpowder and the atom bomb were also developed to solve human challenges. More and more, it seems to me that one of the central challenges of the human species in the decades to come will be to develop sensibilities, sensitivities and mechanisms of defense and protection against advanced communication technologies.
I started to detect the nega tive effects of technology on our family interactions.
