I've noticed in comedy that people always make fun of Asian drivers and I don't know why. There really are worse drivers than that. The Orthodox Jews. Yes, we have to admit it! The introduction to the cell phone didn't help here, either!

First of all, it's not their fault. They have a woman in the back seat surrounded by a bevy of beautiful babies (and I do mean babies!) and these kids are screaming at the top of their lungs while this poor guy is sweating through his beard trying to get a business deal done.

How do I know these things? Well, let's just say this....I've been in more than one fender bender with an Orthodox Jew and not once with an Asian. Asians know how to use their phones and NOT use both hands while talking and driving. Each accident I've had with an OJ (my moniker for the above) , has tried to convince me how blessed I am that nothing happened and how I have to thank Hashem. I'm respectful because I'm thinking, you should be thanking me for not stepping out of the car, taking off my earrings and throwing down! You hit my car because YOU WERE ON THE PHONE! I mean, this one dude is not only on the phone, he was still talking as we pulled over!

Now when I see a bad driver I think...let's play a little game: Asian or Orthodox Jew? My peeps win more times than not! I don't think it's just the Orthodox...my husband has his moments too. He was just in an accident today and I'm so thankful nothing happened to him. I'm also thankful I wasn't there because somehow, someway....it becomes my fault. "IF YOU WEREN'T PUTTING MASCARA ON WHILE I WAS DRIVING, THIS NEVER WOULD HAVE HAPPENED!" For some reason, he hates that I look in the mirror while he drives. What he doesn't know is that I look in the mirror when I drive...so what's the difference?

Where am I going with this column today? Well, a direction that has never been revealed. I'm tired of people talking about women drivers....men are infinitely worse. At least we're DOING something when we get into a bender! How many times has that green arrow gone on the traffic light and my husband hits the gas to go ahead. He's paying attention! He's not even putting on makeup!

Speaking of makeup, will someone tell my daughter that when she wants to make me up for a show I look like the Joker when she's finished? I haven't the heart to tell her but I have the heart to share with all of you my experiences, dreams and lawsuits and that's why I love my readers. You are not fans you are READERS of the best Virtual Mag out there....stay tuned to VJ...where we tell you like it is!