I know.. I've been away longer than a Kardashian wedding!

So many things have happened that I just don't know where to begin! I will start with my nail salon experience... I often do bits on the nail salon, but this was just supposed to be a normal mani-pedi day with me and my daughters, and.... it turned into a nightmare.

A woman walks in with an incredibly expensive stroller. Yes, I still have stroller envy, but that's not the point.  My oldest, Aviva wants to see the baby, but wrapped in a beautiful blanket is a dog!
I'm a dog lover and all, but often life is stranger than fiction. This woman asks me to lower the volume of my voice (which is impossible for a Jewish woman!) as her dog is trying to "relax."

I advise her that she should have her services done at home as we are in a public establishment.  I then catch her talking to the dog...about me!  Suppose this dog reads VJ?  Suppose he talks to other dogs in the dog park about comedians?

So I ask her: "Are you talking to your dog about me?" She smugly replies:  "Yes, we can't believe how obnoxious you are!"sunda croonquist

I jump out of my "hoof" water and tell her "Get out!"

I scared her so badly that she wrapped her dog in the blanket, ran for her stroller and then warned me that she's notifying the authorities.

Being straight out of Jersey I tell her that I'm calling the cops!  No animals are allowed in nail salons for health reasons! My kids are scared of this woman, and I'm slipping on the water on the floor as she runs out of the nail salon, sans-shoes.

 Then... 20 minutes later, my youngest, Tovah, looks outside and yells: "The police are coming!"

I told her "Let them come!" I really didn't mean it though, and the poor Vietnamese woman keeps telling me "Her shoe... she leave her shoe!"

Of course that didn't stop me from finishing up my beauty needs but I definitely didn't want any altercations. After all, I've been in enough newspapers with my "opinions" of people.

My daughters yelled, "Let's run!"  I told them, "No! Walk... slowly behind me." My thoughts? They'll think I'm a nanny and we'll make a getaway in the car.  I've obviously had experience with the new jersey police department who really need their own reality show, but that's for a different column.

Needless to say, my idea worked! While the police were stepping into various nail salons with the barefoot woman and her dog in the stroller, we got home safely.

My daughters told me that they were proud of me.  "Proud of what?" I ask. "Proud that you didn't let that lady talk back to you while she's making believe that she's holding a baby in a blanket and it's a dog!"

They weren't wrong... and life goes on.

Tonight I'm preparing for an ovarian cancer event at Hackensack hospital in New Jersey honoring Shannon Miller, a survivor and America's most honored Olympic gymnast.  I'm so proud to be a part of this event!

Stay tuned to VJ where truth is stranger than fiction.  at least when Sunda is around!

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