It's been a whirlwind of a week! My "Uncle Junie" passed away whose real name was Abraham. This caused mucho confusion as most people thought he was Jewish and I was going to go away for Pesach but of course, I was here trying to plot how I was getting out of LA to Jersey right after Second night of Pesach.
Not so easy.
First, Shiva platters came in from my non-Jewish friends. Cakes and sandwich platters arrived and my house was already cleaned for Pesach! What can you do but give away the bread to the valet and send thank you cards!
I wished they sent it to Uncle Junie's house where after the funeral repast; there was enough food at his house to open a restaurant! The funeral was at Bragg's Funeral Home and what a perfect opportunity to run into every ex-boyfriend from Paterson who told me how I looked. One told me I was skin and bones and wanted to know if LA did that to me. I wanted to tell him he looked like a skull and bones with that huge bald head! I wondered if JAIL did that to him!
Far from skin and bones, I like food...a lot! With that being said, these people have just eaten themselves into OBLIVION! I'm not skinny. They are fat! But that's not the point. The point is that once you go "home" things are different. Everybody brought up the fact that Uncle Junie was always in my Act and thought it was a tribute to him. Others wanted me to speak at the funeral but my mother's family conveniently arranged that I, a professional speaker NOT speak at the funeral! One of my cousins stumbled through reading the obituary where finally I had my chance to take a nap. I have drama on all ends! As much as I talk about my husband's family, my mom's family is a bit "off" although not so much that they would sue me for this blog! You see, I was supposed to be a lawyer not a comedian. When you come from this type of family it's stressful. I hear: "I hope that wasn't a joke, it's not funny!" "You're not on stage so please stop talking." Oh, the list goes on!
My uncle being from the Riverside section had a slew of Italian friends pay respect and it looked like a scene out of: "Jersey Shore meets the 'Hood!" The repast took place at the Brownstone, home of "Housewives of New Jersey" and the food was exquisite. There were no fights with spaghetti being thrown, contrary to the media's depiction of Jersey Girls.
I'm back in LA and "Uncle Junie" is still in my heart (and act!) To my fans at VJ understand it's been a rough week...but I won't stay away that long again...until the next funeral where "'Hoodzpah!" really comes to life! Trust me, I will tell you like it is...and like it was!
