So last time we left off I shared with you that I had embarked on a new journey... the world of J-Date!

I've only been on J-date for a few weeks, and it already has me rearranging my schedule. There's a few people that I've been chatting online with and even a few that I've been talking to on the phone.

The funny thing about online dating is that men and women can be very bold and ask things during their first conversation that one would never ask someone they just met to their face. Like: "So what do you think is your best bodypart?"

Uh... yeah.

All this aside, as I said... I've met a couple guys. At least with online dating it's 'ok' for you to know what you want and what you're looking for, and even be blunt about it.

Of course, this still does not make dating foolproof.

So here it is, the recap of my first date on J-date, with... the Wolfman.

Dramatization.

A few weeks ago, I got a message from one of my J-date admirers. We chat online for a little bit, he compliments my hair, and then asks for my number.

A few days go by and he sends me a text. This goes on for a few days. It's interesting to note how non-confrontational our generation has become. We IM, e-mail, text, use smoke signals, but actually communicating, even on the phone, is uneasy territory.

Days of texting ensue, mostly chit chat, but he finally asks to take me out. I agree. He jovially mentions that we can see who has lighter or darker hair when we meet up... which is a strange first date ritual, but ok, cool.

We pick a date and time, and he picks the location. A coffee shop. Harmless enough!

When the big day comes. I get nervous, I haven't been on a first date in a while! I really want it to go well, but at the same time I know I have to be realistic; this is the first guy I've met, that doesn't mean he will be my soul mate.

So I show up to the café all dressed up, excited and ready for anything! Anything but this.

When I get to the café, I call him and he tells me he wants to meet somewhere else - a bar, just down the street. What! A BAR? I thought we were having coffee! I mean who changes the venue at the last second? Luckily, I had my mace and cell phone ready to go in case I needed them.

I'm waiting outside texting the name of the new location to my friends, when he shows up in a dark hoodie, CREEPY.

"Natalie?"

"Eric?"

After we exchange greetings, we step into the bar and order a drink. The conversation isn't exactly flowing and he seems nervous, so I keep trying to break the ice by bringing up topics of conversation. But as I sit there staring at my Corona, I realize the football game on the flat screen is more interesting than my date.

For a moment we are actually talking about the weather, at great length. THE WEATHER!

And that was his topic of conversation, not mine.

We make very small talk about food and wine and baseball, and after another moment of silence, he looks at me and the following conversation ensues:

"So... I'm doing something different with my hair, can you tell?"

I give him a quizzical look, I mean I've never met the guy before how can I know his hair is different, or give an opinion?

He reads my mind.

"Well you probably can't tell, since you've never seen me before. But I'm trying something new with it. I'm growing it."

"Really?" I respond, "That's... great."

"Yeah I'm also trying this new 'product' on it. It's called hair glue."

"You put glue on your hair?"

"Well it's not real glue of course, it's a hair 'product' called glue. It makes my hair easy to style." He pats his head and grins. "Would you like to touch it?"

(Yes I know.)

No one can say I'm not a lady, I touched his hair.

"Wow, it's pretty stiff."

(Please no 'that's what she said' jokes.)

"I thought I put a lot of product in my hair, but I think you win." I tell him.

"Oh!" His eyes light up as he reaches a hand toward my hair, "May I?"

Oh no, not a man with a hair fetish.

"Sure...?"

And then he was touching my hair.

"Oh wow, that's nice! That's really nice! It's not too stiff or crunchy, you have beautiful hair, but you probably get that a lot."

(I do)

"Oh, thank you." I politely respond.

"Hair happens to be a big part of my life." he informs me.

Another hair 'ahktor' I know.

Oh God. Curiosity always gets the better of me. "How big?"

"Well a pretty big part. I mean I like to think of myself as a hair actor."

I forgot to tell you didn't I? He's an actor. And he pronounces it 'ahktohr.' I don't know why.

"See, I like to manipulate and do new things to my hair for different roles."

Uh...

"And also, being Jewish with pale skin and dark hair, I mean a lot of things tend to happen."

"Really, what kinds of things?" I inquire.

"Oh you know what I'm talking about." He smiles at me and nods.

"I do? I don't think I do, what kind of things? I'm curious."

"What, you're not Jewish with pale skin and dark hair?" (Another knowing smile.)

"Uh yeah I am, but nothing has ever happened because of it."

"Oh really???"

He seems shocked.

And I really don't understand what he is trying to get at.

"OK. What do you mean?" I ask him straight out.

"Oh never mind."

Oh no you don't.

"But now I'm really curious! What do you mean?"

"Well you have a lot of hair right?" He gives me a very 'knowing' look.

Um, where exactly he is asking about, I wonder? To avoid any confusion I reply: "On my head, yeah."

"Nowhere else?" He asks.

OMG.

"WHAT? Um no, just my head, that's all the hair I have!!!!" I freak out.

"OH, ok." He looks suspicious. "I have a lot of hair... all over my body."

"I mean my dad has a lot of hair, but not me." I blurt out.

"Well I guess your dad and I have more to talk about."

I am sooooo creeped out.

"Ok, yeah I mean I don't have a hairy back or anything!" I inform him firmly, in case he is into that kind of thing.

"Oh well, I didn't mean that...sorry I brought it up....uh never mind."

I don't want to talk about this anymore! I am so bothered! Why does the first guy I meet on J-date have to be a creep with a hair fetish?!

"Ok." I am so happy this conversation is over... and that the date is over, cause it is.

"Well look at the time!" I look at my watch, "I have to be up early!"

"Oh ok. Let me walk you to your car and I'll show you something on the way."

Oh no. No, no. With all this talk of hairy bodies, who knows what he's going to show me. I reluctantly follow him to the door and outside.

He beams at me. "I'm on a calendar! And it's currently my holiday spread!"

I stare at him, slowly putting the pieces together. "So you're... Mr. Rosh... Hashanah?"

"Yes, and the store that sells it is right here." He points at a store and takes me to the window. "Aw, it's closed. Well... this is where you can buy it!"

"Oh... great. What kind of calendar is it?"

"Sexy Jewish Menschs."

I should have known. I say jokingly: "The calendar every Jewish mother buys for her daughter."

He looks uncomfortable now. "Well... probably not."

"Why, are you NUDE?"

(Sometimes I ask before I think.)

"Well, not... nude... but..."

At that point I realized it was time to go.

I drove away and as I looked at him in my rear-view mirror, I only hoped that I never have such an extensive conversation about hair again.

But I'm starting to think that I should make a T-shirt that says:

"I showed up for a date and all I got was this blog."

Tomorrow night I tempt fate again...

<--- How Natalie ended up on J-Date to begin with
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