The traditional approach to Jewish outreach -- especially on college campuses -- is to make it as easy as possible for Jews to get involved: free classes, free admission, no obligations, no memberships.
This makes sense for a young generation that cherishes its independence and wants to engage with the world as it pleases. Many young people today, when they think of membership, see themselves as already belonging to two primary groups: a group of One (thyself) and a group of 7 billion (humanity).
Similarly, for many young Jews today, this notion of "belonging to the Jewish people" doesn't resonate. If one of your primary values is inclusiveness, then the natural choice is to belong to the all-inclusive human race.
That's where college fraternities and sororities come in.
These groups encourage bonding and loyalty to a group. Today, by far the largest and most important Jewish fraternity is the 100-year-old Alpha Epsilon Pi, which has 9,000 members on college campuses in five countries.
I know very little about the fraternity world. They didn't have a Jewish fraternity where I went to college (McGill University in Montreal), and all the college outreach efforts that I've been involved with -- such as Hillel and Chabad -- have been "nonmembership."
So, when I was chosen recently to be honored as a "brother" at a major AEPi conclave in Las Vegas for my work with the Jewish community, my first thought was: Wow, what's a brother?
My second thought was: This might make a cool column.
But here's the wrinkle -- yes, it was an incredible experience, but because the ceremony at which I was initiated is secret, I can't tell you too much about it. I can tell you that I now have a secret handshake, a secret password, a secret knock and a lifetime bond with any of the thousands of other AEPi "brothers" around the world.
Why do I find that prospect so satisfying?
Well, I guess on one level it was the company I was honored with. I was initiated next to some prominent Jewish men, among them the majordomo philanthropist Sheldon Adelson, whom I stood next to during most of the ceremony. Trust me, there are worse things in life than becoming "brothers" with one of the Jewish world's largest donors.
But there was something else that moved me deeply -- it was the very idea of belonging to a group.
There are myriad ways of connecting to Judaism, but in all my years of raising my children in the Jewish tradition, the most powerful connection I have found is the sense of belonging to a people.
Being Jewish is not just what you believe and what you do, I tell them, it's also who you are and whom you are with.
