Courtesy of Ohr Somayach! Check out their Rosh Hashana site at http://www.ohr.org.il/special/roshhash/!

The concept of teshuvah, repentance, seems to be an illogical one. True, a sinner must change his ways: One who wishes to avoid incurring further punishment must clearly cease his sinning. Yet by what logic can a previous sin be forgiven? If one changes for the better, should he not still receive the punishment he deserves for the bad that he has done, as well as the reward he deserves for the good he is currently doing?

One might answer that since Hashem is all-merciful, in His mercy He wipes away our sins even though logically He has no reason to do so. Whoever regrets the mitzvos he has fulfilled and wonders at his meritorious deeds, and says to himself: "What did I get out of doing them? Would that I had not done them," loses all of them, and no merit is remembered in his favor, as it says: The righteousness of the righteous shall not save him on the day of his wickedness -- this is if he regrets his original [good deeds]... (Rambam, Hilchos Teshuvah 3:3)

This insight of the Rambam proves that Hashem's "forgetting" our past is not merely a question of His mercy, for the concept can work against a man as well -- one who regrets his past righteousness loses his accumulated reward. Surely, this is not an example of G-d's mercy. When G-d judges an individual, He does not simply weigh his sins and mitzvos on a scale, with a rasha being one whose sins are "heavier."

Rather, Hashem makes His judgment on the individual himself. What is he? What does he represent? Is he the embodiment of good or of evil? True, a person's essential being will depend upon the mitzvos and sins that he has done, but he is actually judged for the gestalt of his being, the whole and not the parts.

When a person truly regrets his past actions, he is stating that this period in his life does not embody him. When being judged for what he represents, those sins or those mitzvos that he regrets are not factors in judgment, since they do no represent him anymore. This understanding of how G-d judges an individual is apparent in the Rambam: When a person's sins and merits are weighed, the first sin that he sinned is not counted, nor the second, but the third and on [are counted]. If it is found that his sins -- from the third and on -- are greater than his merits, the [first] two sins are included and he is judged on them all. But if his merits stand against his sins, each of his sins is canceled one by one. The third is considered as the first, for the first two were forgiven. And thus the fourth becomes the first, for after all the third has been forgiven, and so on to the end... (Rambam, Hilchos Teshuvah 3:5)

According to the Rambam, when calculating our sins against our mitzvos, Hashem does not count the first two times we sin. Bearing our explanation of teshuvah in mind, the reason for this is quite clear. The Gemara considers that an action must occur three times to establish a status quo (a chazakah). The first two times a person sins he had not indicated that he is a person who embodies that particular transgression. He simply is one who gave in to his evil inclination. Only after he transgresses three times can one say that he represents the sin itself, and as such can be judged for his embodiment of the evil, not for one particular sin. Some of the ways of repentance are for the penitent to constantly shout before Hashem, with tears and pleas; to give as much charity as in his power; to distance himself from the object of his sin; and to change his name, as if to say: I am another, and am not the same person who did those deeds. He changes his actions entirely for the better, onto the straight path, and exiles himself from his former place of residence... (Rambam, Hilchos Teshuvah 2:4)

How can the Rambam write that one should change his name and say he is someone else? According to our explanation this is exactly the point of teshuvah. One must declare that the periods and moments of one's life spent in sin do not represent him. He is a different person, represented by mitzvos, not by sins.

Courtesy of Ohr Somayach! Check out their Rosh Hashana site at http://www.ohr.org.il/special/roshhash/!