"And Jacob was greatly afraid, and he was distressed." - Bereshit 32.8
The commentaries dwell on Jacob's emotional state as he anticipated his reunion with his brother, Esau. In clarifying Jacob's psychological frame of mind, the verse "And Jacob was greatly afraid, and he was distressed," raises several questions. First, why was the redundancy of "greatly afraid" and "distressed." Second, as the Kli Yakar points out, why did Jacob feel any anxiety facing Esau when the Almighty had twice promised him that He would guard him?
According to Rashi, Jacob was "afraid" of being killed and he was "distressed" at the thought of having to kill others. With regard to his "distress" at the idea of killing others, the Rabbis ask: "Is it not an accepted rule that, 'One who seeks to kill you, act first, and kill him?" They explain that Jacob's distress was focused on his father, Isaac. In the words of the Midrash Tanchumah: "Of he had had to kill Esau, Isaac would have been saddened, for he loved Esau."
The Elders, Ba'alei Hatosfot, explain that Jacob's being "afraid" refers to his fear that Esau's merit for honoring his parents would be greater than his own, for he had been away for 22 years, and that Esau would therefore, have the advantage in any contest.
Similarly, he feared Esau's merit of having stayed in the Land of Israel while he himself had not accumulated those years of merit. Jacob's distress was due to his disappointment in himself that, despite God's assurances to him, he still experienced a sense of fear in confronting Esau. Upon being "afraid" Jacob felt a lack of h is faith in God, and was therefore "distressed" that he might not be worthy of God's protection.
The Or Hachayim offers this explanation: "Jacob was afraid that he would be killed if Esau still felt animosity toward him and came to greet him with hostile intent. Jacob was "distressed" at the prospect that, should Esau not intend him any harm, upon seeing that Jacob was prepared for warfare, his hate would be re-ignited."
According to the Kli Yakar, Jacob's anxiety was heightened by another realization. The Talmud in Sotag says: "Rabbi Elazar said: "anyone who excessively appeases another will ultimately fall into his hand." Jacob was in conflict over whether his gracious offerings to Esau might not ultimately lead to his downfall.
In approaching any such trial, we may be filled with doubt. Will we be harmed? Will we have to inflict harm? Do our enemies have sources of strength or merit greater than our own? Is our posturing too harsh, or too soft? Is our faith what it should be?
Jacob rises above his doubts in confronting Esau by defining himself. This is reflected in his words of preparation to the first of his servants who set out to greet Esau. He prepares them to respond to three essential questions (32.18). "To whom do you belong, where are you going, and for what purpose is all that lies before you?" He defines himself, his destiny and his purpose in being. In times of fear and distress, we would do well to learn from our forefather Jacob, who prepared for all eventualities through careful self examination, and who overcame doubt - with gifts, with preparation for warfare, and with prayer.
at the prospect that, should Esau not intend him any harm, upon seeing that Jacob was prepared for warfare, his hate would be re-ignited."
